Some of the comments I received on this post encouraged me 'not to be too hard on myself', and I appreciate the kindness of those words.
However, though I extend myself grace, it is more accurate to recognize the selfishness of my flesh. The glory is found in re-visiting the lesson, and seeking once again to take my eyes off myself and focus them on Jesus.
|Mustached groom - May 21, 1988|
My husband had a mustache. He wore a mustache from before the time we dated, through dating and into marriage. In fact, every picture I had ever seen of him, from high school forward, included a mustache.
I had never seen this man without a mustache upon his upper lip!
And then one day it was gone...the mustache that is.
For some reason, in that season of his life, he decided he was finished with the mustache. While I was away on one particular day, my husband stood in front of the bathroom mirror and shaved his very full, black mustache right into the sink and down the drain.
I DIDN'T NOTICE!
Oh, no, not like I didn't notice for 10 minutes or an hour. I didn't notice for a couple of days! And then, I didn't actually notice; I was prompted. Our two seeds, who had never known their father without a mustache, were beside themselves. They began to drop hints and then laugh. Obviously, I was the butt of the joke! So, what was I missing?
And then...FINALLY...I saw it, or rather I didn't see it. His mustache; it was gone! For how long, I didn't know. I knew I had missed it. I was horrified. I was not paying attention.
I DIDN'T NOTICE...
a major event in my husband's life!
I was a busy mom, working full time, team mom, involved in church activities and classroom volunteer. I could make plenty of excuses, but there was no excuse.
The person with whom I had vowed to share the most intimate of human relationships should have been a top focus of my attention. Suddenly, the realization hit home, I was living distracted and pre-occupied. I had taken for granted a most precious treasure...unacceptable.
I apologized, and yes, there was forgiveness; however, there was no way to un-do my lack of attention. So, while there was repentance and forgiveness, so necessary in the marriage relationship, a lifestyle change was also required.
I made a commitment to make my husband a priority in my life. Though I have not "noticed" him perfectly, I have asked Jesus for change. I've asked Him to help me keep my priorities in order, to change me from the inside out and prick my heart to...
His divine power has given us everything required for life and Godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. By these He has given us very great and precious promises, so that through them you may share in the divine nature, escaping the corruption that is in the world because of evil desires.
2 Peter 1:3-4