Yes, that's me - the recovering passive-aggressive people-pleaser.
The good news is "recovering"! Recovering reminds me of this truth from God's Word:
2 Corinthians 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.
Gratefully, I'm so far from where I used to be - living at the bottom of a deep, dark pit. However, I'm not all I will be - the purified, radiant bride presented in wholeness at the marriage supper of the Lamb. I'm becoming. I'm maturing. I'm being transformed in the renewing of my mind.
Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
The lies I've believed - like this one: living my life with the goal of making everyone happy; being who another person wants me to be, will ultimately result in feeling loved - those lies are being rooted up and out of my heart garden - tossed to the bottom of the pit.
I'm on a journey; my whole life is a journey. And on that journey I'm living an awesome adventure of renewal and transformation. My Savior saw me when I, from the very bottom of my dark pit, raised the white flag of surrender. With my first cry for His presence, He came to my rescue.
He saved me.
Jesus, I bless Your Holy name because You set my feet on solid ground and asked me to follow You! You redeemed my life from the destructive path. You forgave my iniquity and healed my diseases. Jesus, You have crowned me with Your Loving-kindness and tender mercies. You satisfy me with good things and You restore my youthfulness.
The lies...I'm not even sure when I began to hear them...probably before birth. The enemy of God meant to abduct my life and steal the glory of God's creation. I don't remember choosing to believe a lie over truth.
Those lies...they're subtle, insidious, and destructive. Without warning they weave a protective web of false security as they tangle our lives in the ways of the world. The world tells us we're fitting in, accepted and normal. Everyone's doing it...we're just living the American life.
So, why the misery? Why did I feel torn in a dozen different directions? Why were my efforts never enough? Where was the peace? How did joy ever escape me? And why did I never feel loved? How did I end up so empty?
Yes, I am recovering. I'm daily being transformed by the truth of God's Word. My mind, through daily conversations with my Shepherd, is being renewed and I am receiving the mind of Christ. I choose daily to believe, to put on and walk in my true identity in Christ. Daily, I have a choice to live recovering.
Father's word for me this year is LAVISH.
We have redemption in Him through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
How about you? Are you recovering? Do you remember the pit where you used to live? Don't live there, but don't forget from where you were rescued.
I hope not, but are you still living in the pit? If so, raise the white flag of surrender to Jesus. He's on His way to your rescue! He'll set your feet on the Rock of His firm foundation. Jesus will save, forgive, redeem, and heal you. He'll set His crown of love and mercy upon your head and He'll satisfy your desires with His goodness. He will!
Are you with me on the journey? It's a JOY to walk together, sharing where we've been, what we've learned and where we're headed - one adventure at a time!
Blessings of GREATEST JOY on your amazing journey with Jesus!